By:Robert Elias Najemy Nick needs to share his problems with his wife when he arrives home from work His wife Olga, however, becomes depressed when hearing his negative descriptions of his work place, the city and life in general on a daily basis. Nick releases his negativity in this way, but Olga is receives it. She then becomes angry and criticizes him and his negativity is then increased by her rejection. Olga cannot stand it anymore. She cannot listen anymore to what is "wrong" with everyone and everything. Olga, however, is not taking responsibility for her reality and is unable to realize that she is attracting this behavior from Nick and she is disturbed by it because she herself tends to think in this way and is now trying to get free from her own negative attitude. Thus, Nick is reflecting her own tendency to think negatively and to criticize others, and when she sees this in Nick, she becomes more upset. Nick, on the other hand, is simply attracting the criticism and rejection he had experienced from his mother for so many years as a child. This criticism hurts and saddens him. He needs support from his wife, but is getting the opposite. She, on the other hand, needs a positive and pleasant attitude from him. She needs him to be strong and not complain. She needs him to think positively so she can feel safe and secure. Neither is getting what she or he needs from the other. They love each other and really want to support each other, but their programmings, needs and fears are controlling them, and they are not free to experience and express that love. What can they do? What are their lessons? Nick: Is his lesson to learn to think positively and to realize the power of thoughts (negative and positive)? Does he need to learn to work out his problems internally and not express them with his wife? What does he need to learn about her criticism? Does he need to learn to accept himself and project greater self-respect? How can he perceive his work and life more positively? Does he need to work with his childhood years and the rejection he felt from his mother? Olga: Does she need to learn to think more positively? Does she need to be able to listen to her husband without identifying with his negative view? Does she need to be more understanding? Is her lesson to be more adamant and refuse to listen to his negative perceptions of life? Does she need to work on overcoming her own negativity? Each will have to analyze him or herself and discover his or her personal lesson. Nick needs to share his problems with his wife when he arrives home from work His wife Olga, however, becomes depressed when hearing his negative descriptions of his work place, the city and life in general on a daily basis. Nick releases his negativity in this way, but Olga is receives it. She then becomes angry and criticizes him and his negativity is then increased by her rejection. Olga cannot stand it anymore. She cannot listen anymore to what is "wrong" with everyone and everything. Olga, however, is not taking responsibility for her reality and is unable to realize that she is attracting this behavior from Nick and she is disturbed by it because she herself tends to think in this way and is now trying to get free from her own negative attitude. Thus, Nick is reflecting her own tendency to think negatively and to criticize others, and when she sees this in Nick, she becomes more upset. Nick, on the other hand, is simply attracting the criticism and rejection he had experienced from his mother for so many years as a child. This criticism hurts and saddens him. He needs support from his wife, but is getting the opposite. She, on the other hand, needs a positive and pleasant attitude from him. She needs him to be strong and not complain. She needs him to think positively so she can feel safe and secure. Neither is getting what she or he needs from the other. They love each other and really want to support each other, but their programmings, needs and fears are controlling them, and they are not free to experience and express that love. What can they do? What are their lessons? Nick: Is his lesson to learn to think positively and to realize the power of thoughts (negative and positive)? Does he need to learn to work out his problems internally and not express them with his wife? What does he need to learn about her criticism? Does he need to learn to accept himself and project greater self-respect? How can he perceive his work and life more positively? Does he need to work with his childhood years and the rejection he felt from his mother? Olga: Does she need to learn to think more positively? Does she need to be able to listen to her husband without identifying with his negative view? Does she need to be more understanding? Is her lesson to be more adamant and refuse to listen to his negative perceptions of life? Does she need to work on overcoming her own negativity? Each will have to analyze him or herself and discover his or her personal lesson. Article Source: http://www.redsofts.com/articles/ Robert E. Najemy, author of 25 books and life coach with 30 years of experience, has trained over 300 life coaches and now does so over the Internet. Become a life coach. 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